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TWELVE STEPS... to mess up a day

  1. Look for something negative and hold on to it.
  2. Make a few mountains out of some molehills.
  3. Avoid positive, happy people.
  4. Talk with negative people about how unfair and unjust the world is.
  5. Hurry up to get in a rush -- with something unimportant, if possible.
  6. Never read anything funny and don't listen to jokes. Above all: Don't laugh -- nothing is funny.
  7. Consider how nice everything could be, if only life wasn't so mean.
  8. Call someone, who had hurt in the past and try to revenge.
  9. Sort out something that upsets yourself, and then look for people who are willing to help you with this concern.
  10. Seek a reason for self-pity -- a quite sure reason.
  11. If you feel miserable -- don't talk about it, keep it under your hat.
  12. Pin the blame for your problems on someone else -- no matter who.

Index Saturday, May 09, 1998